Learning to Perform

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Perform, at first I did for the admirers,
For the dilettante, the connoisseur, the critic,
For their applause, ovations…for the accolades,
I performed what was expected of me…

And the laurels flowed for sure,
Cynosure of eyes aplenty I was,
Bedecked, honoured and feted,
Celebrated, decorated and venerated;

Yet something was amiss somewhere, I felt,
A steady niggle at my heart it was, day after day,
And many futile nights I spent, looking for the flaw...
Till slowly, achingly, haltingly, it all dawned on me.

I couldn’t feel you in my song,
I couldn’t hear me in my song,
I heard the dilettantes and the connoisseurs,
But it’d been long since I’d heard my soul…

After that I began to sing for me,
Sing for the joy of realizing you…
Some in the assembly drifted, some stayed,
But you were mine, and I was in bliss.