A Curious Mind W(o/a)nders

Monday, October 31, 2005

Chaos calculators

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For people interested in analyzing the chaotic behaviour of time series data, three freely available softwares at:

1. TISEAN : http://www.mpipks-dresden.mpg.de/~tisean/TISEAN_2.1/

2. Visual Recurrence Analysis : http://home.netcom.com/~eugenek/download.html

3. MATLAB add ons : http://kalman.iau.dtu.dk/research/control/nnsysid.html

Free floating Sun...

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A free floating sun, in starry space,
Weightless, bereft of a care,

Tranquility, wonder, silence,
All worlds at a caring distance,

Free floating, free of friction,
Effortless gliding, harmony,

Light to the worlds, to the heavens and hells,
By inner glow, the inner peace,

Unselfish love to the world,
I, a free-floating Sun in starry space...

Friday, October 28, 2005

I AM...

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I am hell, I am heaven,
I am a lie, I am the ultimate truth,
I am hatred, I am love-supreme,
I am the chained prisoner, I am the free- flying bird,

I am the setting sun, I am the eternal sunrise,
I am doomed death, I am the perennial spring of life,
I am powerless, all power flows from me,
I am insignificant, I am the centre of the universe,

I am the Devil, I am God,
I AM YOU.



Thursday, October 27, 2005

Is an Egalitarian society possible??

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A comment which I wrote on Jaya's blog. It was spontaneous (ok, such ideas are always cooking in my head) and is as below (the non-relevant parts are edited):

---
Is egalitarianism possible in the real world?

If no two individuals are "inherently" the same, is creating conditions where they enjoy similar quality-of-life a sustainble equilibrium?
Of course, the "inherent" difference creates - in subsequent iterations - the "not inherent" or imposed differences which appear unfair (and many social/political/economic attempts have been made to address the distortions).

A way out...since every individual is "inherently" different, he/she would be satisfied in different slots. Thus an equilibrium wherein everyone is happy might be actually possible.

One way to ensure that would be be a superstructure (call it Govt., call it politburo, call it whatever) that would do the "best-fit" match.

A second way: Assume humans to be rational, provide them the "complete set/freedom of choices" and they will find their own slot. Actually, in this model, the "complete set/freedom of choices" need not be "provided" by a superstructure. If humans are rational, they would (possibly after sufficient hitting their heads against each other and the wall) realise this, and the free-flow and access of information (we see the rudiments, our good old Internet :-)) would hasten realisation.

And one line of argument could be that "the set of choices" available too should depend on the "inherent" stuff. That'd complicate the situation, necessiate the role of an arbiter...very, very risky.

Are humans "inherently" different, are they "rational"...I don't know!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Well it might not be how it appears

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Well, for any reader of this blog who's read the latest posts, it might appear like a litany of pain, struggle or "living-on-the-edge" sort of narration, whether in my poetry or (in some of) the posts.
I write the blog at only certain times and it is only a very miniscule fraction of what I want to let out through my writings.
So please don't come to any opinion on the writer of this blog on the basis of the posts alone. To understand him, you need to know him in person :-).

Mistakes...you have to live with them

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The context for this post is an overlooking of a framework which I knew very well and could have advantageously applied in a paper which I had yesterday, but somehow conveniently forgot in the two hours. That got me back to thinking on a topic which has time and again occupied my thoughts.

Certain types of mistakes scare me.
Especially those wherein despite complete understanding, the mistake occurs. And post-occurence there is no rational reason that can be attributed to the mistake. This leads to two common reactions among people:

1. Atrribution of the mistake to fate/chance, or the assumption of a random statistical error.
Both imply that there are things over which I have no control and must accept as given.

I can't do that, as it goes against my inherent belief of comprehensibility of everything.

2. Attribution of wrong reasons for the mistake.
This is a common human shortcoming, we tend to attribute causal relationships where none exist (and we are aware of it). This is, in fact, the root cause of so many superstitions that we harbour for life.

An approach that I've found useful is just accepting "I don't know" under these circumstances without any attribution or fallacious reasoning. It's only when the "I don't know" is accepted that the possibility of "correct" knowing arises. And if you are not judging yourself by the judgement of others, no external failure/success should matter too much unless you yourself think that there's something wrong.

And this brings me to the next point...how does one correct a mistake assuming one realises the
right reasons. No, there is no way a mistake can be corrected, since one can't travel back in time. You might try to make up for it, you might correct course-correct yourself and so on...but the mistake remains...you have to live with it.

And even if you could travel back in time, would you really want to change those mistakes?
Atleast I wouldn't want to...you wouldn't be what "you" without those mistakes.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Shall NOT conform

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Push me to the wall,
Snuff me out,
Misunderstand me,
Or humiliate me...

Yet shall NOT conform to your norms.

Paint me crazy,
Slam me for my wild ideas,
Bemoan my lack of conventional sensibilities,
Excruciate me for not talking your talk...

Yet shall NOT conform to your norms...

For I know the meaning of my talk, I know it's different,
And I know that I don't yet know to speak it in your language,
And I know I have to survive till I figure out your language, or find an interpreter,
So that you see what I see...

Survive, I WILL; Conform, I WILL NOT.

The official Google-blog

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Check http://googleblog.blogspot.com/

Well, no comments :-).

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Daybreak

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It's about 5:00 am in the morning and it will be day-break in another half-hour to 45 minutes.
This eve of day-break always arouses a something deep-within, can't explain it precisely...hmm somewhere between expectation, veneration, harmony, joy, hope...

The relentless cycle is on, and I have the opportunity to understand it...

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Bihar: another chance

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Elections (4 phase, October 18 to November 19) are happening in Bihar again.
Can the allegiance to caste, religion and fear be greater than the allegiance to humanity and development? It's sad that such a comparison can even be imagined.
But again, are the alternatives any better?
In a democracy in such situations, what's the way out?

Friday, October 14, 2005

When everything is meant to be broken

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Why everything is meant to be broken,
I just don't understand.
When everything is meant to be broken,
I just don't get who I am.
When everything is meant to be broken,
I just don't know who I am.
When everything is meant to be broken,
I just don't care who I am...

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Can one ever be understood?

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Somebody I know intimately called up yesterday and was crying that nobody ever understood her.

Well, is it possible for a second person to understand you? Forget a second person, do you understand yourself fully?
Then why all these tears about not being understood?

Shubho Bijoya

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And Bijoyar pranam to the elders!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

It's Pujo time folks!

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Well it's Pujo time and I'm trying to figure out which Pujo offers bhog ...the search has narrowed down ;-).

Enjoy the Pujo.

Monday, October 10, 2005

For these years gone by

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What do I have for these years gone by,
Memories...memories...fresh-fading memories, all that remain.

A joke hopelessly told by him, her brave-hearted folly,
A prank wide-wide off target, aimless verbal volley,
Roaming roads awake at midnight, those unearthly hours,
Scrambling after the holi drench, queues for waterless showers.

Night-outs before exams so many, blaring songs in his room,
Discussions about changing the world, elation, pointless gloom,
Hours of watching coding magic, brilliant minds challenging the limit,
Same minds foxed by simplest of puzzles, ah! humour veiled crazy wit!

And these memories are all that I have now,
For years so many gone by,
Fresh-fading memories...fresh despite fading.
Memories are all, as the years fly.

When confronted with a mind immense

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When confronted with a mind immense,
Some submit meekly,
And thus get formed intellectual hirearchies.

Some are scared, petrified,
"Save the order, jail that mind!"
Thus, happens intellectual isolation.

Some ensconced in processes their own,
Ignore, avoid, escape that mind immense,
Thus are born conflicting schools of intellect.

While some confront, challenge, get challenged,
Victory in loss, loss in vistory,
The victory of understanding in victory and loss,
The true spirit of intellecual respect,
Camaraderie indescibable in words mortal,
Intellectual bonding beyond vistory and loss,
Seeds of a friendship beyond words or acts,
And intellectual progress for man and his kind.

Supreme Existence

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Asleep while awake, awake while asleep,
Groping for that moment of truth,
In reality, in my dreams...

The thin glass separating reality from dream,
Transforms from opaque to translucent to transparent,
When reality flows into dreams and dreams into reality...

The perfect clarity, understanding absolute,
Beyond reality, beyond dreams,
A realm unknown, the moment of truth,
When time stands still,
And heaven and hell merge,
To reveal the reality of my Supreme Existence.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Start blogging, Google asks you to!

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A single line on www.google.co.in (arguably the site with the most hits in the world), don't know when it came up but noticed just now (copy-pasted below):

Start your blog with Blogger: it's easy, customisable and free.

Another step, fascinating strategy Google has :-).
The other big story on Google front, the Google-Sun alliance, all the speculation about it might still be primitive, check:
http://news.ft.com/cms/s/6c81f14e-368d-11da-bedc-00000e2511c8.html

And Apple's speculated to be coming out with an ipod-video, there has been one of those "famed commonplace" invites from Jobs, let's wait and watch.
Surprisingly at the Bangkok duty-free, while they had all the latest crazy electronic gizmos, they did not stock i-pods!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

This Uncouth waits

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I took a bath, cleaned myself,
For I was to meet you;

Dressed myself up, saw the mirror after ages,
For I was to meet you;

What did you like hearing, what did you like eating,
That was all that kept me occupied,
For I was to meet you;

And then, something struck.

It was not I that was meeting you.
It was the I, "you wanted", "made for you"... not me.

For I am an uclean, undressed, uncouth who does not require a mirror.
I talk my mind, have never bothered to touch pans.
Yet I am waiting to meet you.

Can you like the "real" me, not the one "decked for you"?

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Opposing while governing!

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Don't have the time or patience to put down a long, logically structured post at present. But just some quick observations and inferences.

The Left is effectively muscling out BJP from the opposition space.
And it is part of the Government.
The Congress is trying to outplay Left at this game by elevating Sonia Gandhi to a pedestal, and from there she publicly admonishes "her" government to implement so-called populist or left-leaning measures...muscling the Congress into the common man/left wing-space. So the Congress serves two constituencies, the reformist and the left wing, simultaneously.
The BJP hasn't been able to get its act together.

It's funny when in a democracy, part of the Government plays the role of Opposition.
How different is it practically from a one-party system as currently practised in modern China (not the traditional communist party system). In a limited sense even they allow differences in ideology within a broad framework, similar to our ruling combines' diverse agendas under a common minimum progamme. Am not sure if local party functionaries in China are elected, if yes, the contrast becomes even less distinct.

And finally to a pet theme, the role of marketing and spin in politics. Thank the spin-gods that the Left can do in West Bengal what it opposes at the centre! Thank the spin gods that Mrs. Gandhi seems to correct "her" government and help the common man, while "her" government carries on reforms! Thank the spin gods that when in power in Tamil Nadu, you're a god/goddess and when out of it you are the vilest of demons!

Am most of the time apprehensive about the role of spin even in the business-space despite all those well meaning definitions in marketing. But in politics and governance, it is unbearable.

The common man...the businesses try to fool him and so do his representatives and leaders, while all the time promising to serve his interests. When will He wake up???

Clarity!

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The dense fogs give way,
The veil reveals the beauty behind,
The real oasis after endless mirages,
Ah, that sense of clarity!

The eye of the bird of prey,
The heart of the matter at hand,
The vibrant soul of a wasted human,
Ah, that sense of clarity!

Ah Clarity, dear Clarity,
Why do you emerge from confusion immense?
The difficult pain in realising your beauty...

Thus a world with you mispalced, or without,
So much shallower, so less enriching...

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Good Sites

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Will continue updating this post regularly and also integrate similar posts from my previous blogs:

1. Center for Advanced Modeling and Optimisation - (Good modeling and optimisation links, software etc.) - http://www.ici.ro/camo/camo.htm

2. Country Specific Information Reports at Investment Promotion Networks - http://www.ipanet.net/

Run

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Run, run...run all my life,
Am I running or is the world running?
Have I moved even an inch...?
Yet life has moved on by miles.

The world I know is a speck of my memory,
The world that I see I do not comprehend,

Yet I run, run...run...

Run because the hordes run,
Run because I might get left behind.
I get left behind anyway.

Does the horde know where it is running,
Why it is running?
Or is the horde just images of me,
Still like me, while the world runs,

I don't know, I don't understand,
Yet I run, run...run...

Monday, October 03, 2005

Mahalaya

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The 10 most important days in a Bengali's yearly social calender starts today.
Today's Mahalaya.
If at home, baba (if in town) would put on Mahishashura Mardini at break of dawn...was sleeping soundly today morning.

(We have the record player disc of Mahishashura Mardini which was played on as long as the record player worked...we later got the casettes and I plan to burn the CDs but somehow the ambience of that old Philips record player is unreplicable!)

Pujo for a probashi bangali is quite different from how a Kolkatan would experience the pujo, atleast that's what I think.
And somehow for me, Pujo in Hyderabad with all the associated memories of so many years gone by, would forever hold a special place.

Well, we grew from Pujo to Pujo at Keyes High School, didn't we...?
Too many memories..."Jamer" role, can't even remember the name of the drama, baba took us despite the rain :-) and those rehearsals in the quadrangle for "bachhader" drama which baba would direct...too many, too many memories, let's leave it here.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Join me my friend, join me...

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Join me my friend, join me...
In this journey to the infinite horizon,
On the wings of fire,
Across the seven seas,
Through the heavens,
Through your hell, through my hell,
Beyond the gods,
Beyond your devils, beyond my devils,
Beyond lie, beyond truth, beyond life,
Beyond your death, beyond my death...

That infinite horizon beckons us,
Join me my friend, join me...

Saturday, October 01, 2005

The Street

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The world runs by at its steaming pace,
I, a bystander, watch stunned.
The hustle, the bustle, the constant ticking clock,
Who took away my watch?
How long have I been watching?
Why have I been watching?

They have lives to live, appointments to meet, commitments to keep,
Empires to create, conspiracies to make,
Money to earn, ambitions to fulfill, inflated dreams to run after.

I stand on the footpath amazed at this street of humanity,
Every now and then a few strides down that street to feel their world,
And then back to my stunned gazing, attempts to make sense.

Does the footpath end in the street?

Why my Lord, why

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O! Lord,

Why did you perfection create,
When in this imperfect world I have to live...

Why did you create clarity,
When in this world of confusion I have to struggle...

Why did you music create,
When in this world of noise I have to travel...

Why did you create feeling,
When living stones are all that I meet...

Why did you love create,
When hatred from the world is all I have...

Why did you create life,
When death is all you had to offer me.

bawra mann

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bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna,
bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna...

bawre se mann ki dekho bawri hain baatein,
bawre se mann ki dekho bawri hain baatein,
bawri si dharkanein hain, bawri hain saasein,
bawri si karwaton se nindiya door bhage,
bawre se nain chahe bawre jharokhon se,
bawre nazaaron ko takna.

bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna,
bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna...

bawre se iss jahan mein bawara ek saath ho,
iss sayani bheed mein bas haathon mein tera haath ho,
bawri si dhun ho koi, bawra ek raag ho,
bawre se pair chahe, bawre taranon pein,
bawre se bol pe thirakna.

bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna,
bawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna...

bawra sa ho andhera, bawri khamoshiyan,
bawra sa ho andhera, bawri khamoshiyan,
thartharati louh maddham, bawri madhoshiyan,
bawra ek ghoongta chahe, haule haule mooh batae,
bawra ek ghoongta chahe, haule haule din batae,
bawre se mukhre se sarakna.

bawra man dekhne chala ek sapna,
bawra man dekhne chala ek sapna...

-------------------------
from Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi
can't find the lyricist, music:Shantanu Moitra

Have been listening to this song almost uninterrupted for over 12 hours now and life has almost come to a standstill...what depth, what meaning...
this life, this life...why ever did I learn to feel...